Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room,
people say, "Oh My God."
Showing posts with label Read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Read. Show all posts
Jan 3, 2010
Jan 2, 2010
Invictus – Poem
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Sep 13, 2009
How to Annoy a Teacher
It is quite easy to annoy a teacher-even the most patient, kind-hearted teacher in the world-if you follow these simple steps.
First always come to class just a little late. Second make as much noise as possible as you enter the room. Then, greet all your friends with a cheerful wave-or even better, with a shouted greeting. Before you sit down, slam your heavy backpack down on the floor next to your desk and do a few stretching exercise. (After all, you will be sitting still for the next 40 minutes or so!) Finally make a big, gaping yawn and take your seat.
As soon as the lesson begins, raise your hand and ask to be excused to go to the restroom. Second, be sure to slam the door, and again, make as much noise as possible while taking your seat. In the next few minutes, turn the pages of your book noisily, search in your backpack for a pencil, ask your neighbor if you can borrow an eraser, and announce in a loud voice that you cannot find your homework. Next, raise your hand and ask to be excused to look for it in your locker.
If the teacher should happen to call on you during the class, mumble an answer. When he or she asks you to speak up, mumble again-maybe a little louder this time, but still not loudly enough to be heard. If the teacher dares to ask you a third time, give a loud and clear answer to the previous question-the one your classmate answered a minute ago-and smile smugly as you do so.
In conclusion, if these techniques do not achieve the desired results, you can always fold your arms across your desk, put your head down, and take a nap. Just do not forgot to snore!
First always come to class just a little late. Second make as much noise as possible as you enter the room. Then, greet all your friends with a cheerful wave-or even better, with a shouted greeting. Before you sit down, slam your heavy backpack down on the floor next to your desk and do a few stretching exercise. (After all, you will be sitting still for the next 40 minutes or so!) Finally make a big, gaping yawn and take your seat.
As soon as the lesson begins, raise your hand and ask to be excused to go to the restroom. Second, be sure to slam the door, and again, make as much noise as possible while taking your seat. In the next few minutes, turn the pages of your book noisily, search in your backpack for a pencil, ask your neighbor if you can borrow an eraser, and announce in a loud voice that you cannot find your homework. Next, raise your hand and ask to be excused to look for it in your locker.
If the teacher should happen to call on you during the class, mumble an answer. When he or she asks you to speak up, mumble again-maybe a little louder this time, but still not loudly enough to be heard. If the teacher dares to ask you a third time, give a loud and clear answer to the previous question-the one your classmate answered a minute ago-and smile smugly as you do so.
In conclusion, if these techniques do not achieve the desired results, you can always fold your arms across your desk, put your head down, and take a nap. Just do not forgot to snore!
Jun 19, 2009
အခမဲ့
အခမဲ့
သူ႔အိမ္မွာ စားေသာက္ဆိုင္ဖြင့္ထားတယ္။ တစ္ခါတေလ ေက်ာင္းအားရက္မွာ အေမ့ကို
သူကူရတယ္။ ဧည့္ၾကိဳ၊ ဧည့္ပို႔၊ စားပဲြသိမ္း၊ ေျပစာရွင္းတာက အစ
သူဝင္လုပ္ရတယ္။ ၾကာေတာ့ စီးပြားေရးသမား တစ္ေယာက္လို သူအတြက္အခ်က္
ေတာ္လာခဲ့တယ္။
ဒီလိုနဲ႔ တစ္ေန႔မွာ ဆိုင္မွာဝင္ကူရင္း ကိုယ့္လုပ္အားခအတြက္ စိတ္ကူးရလို႔
ေျပစာေရးျပီး အေမ့ကို သူေပးလိုက္တယ္။ ေျပစာေပၚမွာက .....
၁) ပန္းကန္ေဆးခ ၅ဝဝက်ပ္
၂) တံျမက္စည္းလွဲခ ၂ဝဝက်ပ္
၃) အျပင္ထမင္းပို႔ေဆာင္ခ ၃ဝဝက်ပ္
၄) ေစ်းဝယ္ထြက္ခ ၁ဝဝက်ပ္
၅) မခိုမကပ္တဲ့ ကြ်န္ေတာ့္အတြက္ အပိုဆုေငြ ၁ဝဝက်ပ္
စုစုေပါင္း က်ပ္ ၁၂ဝဝ။ ေျပစာကို အေမၾကည့္ျပီး ဘာမွမေျပာခဲ့ဘူး။
ညေရာက္ေတာ့ သူ႔ေခါင္းအုံးေဘးမွာ ေငြက်ပ္၁၂ဝဝ ကို ေတြ႔လိုက္တယ္။
အားရဝမ္းသာ ပိုက္ဆံကိုယူျပီး အိတ္ထဲထည့္မယ္အလုပ္ ေခါင္းအံုးေဘးမွာ
ေျပစာတစ္ေစာင္ ရွိေနတာကို သူေတြ႔လိုက္တယ္။ ေျပစာကို ယူၾကည့္ေတာ့
အေမ့အေပၚ က်န္ရွိေသာ အေၾကြးမ်ား...
၁) အေမ့အိမ္တြင္ ၁ဝႏွစ္ေက်ာ္ အပူအပင္မရွိ ေနထိုင္ခ ဝက်ပ္
၂) ေနထိုင္ေသာ ၁ဝႏွစ္အတြင္း စားဝတ္ေနေရးခ ဝက်ပ္
၃) ေက်ာင္းတက္ခ၊ စာအုပ္ဖိုး ဝက်ပ္
၄) ဖ်ားနာစဥ္ ေဆးကုခ၊ ေစာင့္ေ႐ွာက္ခ ဝက်ပ္
၅) ေမတၱာၾကီးမားေသာ မိခင္တစ္ဦးအတြက္ အပိုဆု ဝက်ပ္
ေျပစာကိုၾကည့္ျပီး သူ႐ွက္ရြံ႔သြားမိတယ္။ ဝမ္းနည္းစိတ္မေကာင္းစြာနဲ႔
အေမ့အနားသြားျပီး အေမ့ရင္ခြင္ထဲ သူတိုးဝင္လိုက္မိတယ္။ က်ပ္ ၁၂ဝဝကုိ
အေမ့အိတ္ကပ္ထဲ ဂ႐ုတစိုက္ သူျပန္ထည့္လိုက္တယ္။ သူ႔ေက်ာကို ပြတ္သပ္ျပီး
အေမက ျပံဳးေနခဲ့တယ္။
ဝက္ဆိုက္ဒ္တစ္ခုမွ ဖတ္ရတဲ့ စာတစ္ပုဒ္ပါ။ ဒီစာထဲကအတိုင္းပဲ "အဆိုေတာ္
ႏဲြ႔ယဥ္ဝင္း" က သီခ်င္းအျဖစ္နဲ႔ ဆုိခဲ့ဖူးပါတယ္။ သီခ်င္း႐ွိခဲ့ရင္
ပို႔ေပးၾကပါအုန္းလို႔.. ေက်းဇူးးး
ကမာၻေပၚမွာ ရွိရွိသမွ် အေမေတြအားလံုး ေနေကာင္းက်န္းမာဖို႔ ဆုေတာင္းလိုက္ပါတယ္။
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သူ႔အိမ္မွာ စားေသာက္ဆိုင္ဖြင့္ထားတယ္။ တစ္ခါတေလ ေက်ာင္းအားရက္မွာ အေမ့ကို
သူကူရတယ္။ ဧည့္ၾကိဳ၊ ဧည့္ပို႔၊ စားပဲြသိမ္း၊ ေျပစာရွင္းတာက အစ
သူဝင္လုပ္ရတယ္။ ၾကာေတာ့ စီးပြားေရးသမား တစ္ေယာက္လို သူအတြက္အခ်က္
ေတာ္လာခဲ့တယ္။
ဒီလိုနဲ႔ တစ္ေန႔မွာ ဆိုင္မွာဝင္ကူရင္း ကိုယ့္လုပ္အားခအတြက္ စိတ္ကူးရလို႔
ေျပစာေရးျပီး အေမ့ကို သူေပးလိုက္တယ္။ ေျပစာေပၚမွာက .....
၁) ပန္းကန္ေဆးခ ၅ဝဝက်ပ္
၂) တံျမက္စည္းလွဲခ ၂ဝဝက်ပ္
၃) အျပင္ထမင္းပို႔ေဆာင္ခ ၃ဝဝက်ပ္
၄) ေစ်းဝယ္ထြက္ခ ၁ဝဝက်ပ္
၅) မခိုမကပ္တဲ့ ကြ်န္ေတာ့္အတြက္ အပိုဆုေငြ ၁ဝဝက်ပ္
စုစုေပါင္း က်ပ္ ၁၂ဝဝ။ ေျပစာကို အေမၾကည့္ျပီး ဘာမွမေျပာခဲ့ဘူး။
ညေရာက္ေတာ့ သူ႔ေခါင္းအုံးေဘးမွာ ေငြက်ပ္၁၂ဝဝ ကို ေတြ႔လိုက္တယ္။
အားရဝမ္းသာ ပိုက္ဆံကိုယူျပီး အိတ္ထဲထည့္မယ္အလုပ္ ေခါင္းအံုးေဘးမွာ
ေျပစာတစ္ေစာင္ ရွိေနတာကို သူေတြ႔လိုက္တယ္။ ေျပစာကို ယူၾကည့္ေတာ့
အေမ့အေပၚ က်န္ရွိေသာ အေၾကြးမ်ား...
၁) အေမ့အိမ္တြင္ ၁ဝႏွစ္ေက်ာ္ အပူအပင္မရွိ ေနထိုင္ခ ဝက်ပ္
၂) ေနထိုင္ေသာ ၁ဝႏွစ္အတြင္း စားဝတ္ေနေရးခ ဝက်ပ္
၃) ေက်ာင္းတက္ခ၊ စာအုပ္ဖိုး ဝက်ပ္
၄) ဖ်ားနာစဥ္ ေဆးကုခ၊ ေစာင့္ေ႐ွာက္ခ ဝက်ပ္
၅) ေမတၱာၾကီးမားေသာ မိခင္တစ္ဦးအတြက္ အပိုဆု ဝက်ပ္
ေျပစာကိုၾကည့္ျပီး သူ႐ွက္ရြံ႔သြားမိတယ္။ ဝမ္းနည္းစိတ္မေကာင္းစြာနဲ႔
အေမ့အနားသြားျပီး အေမ့ရင္ခြင္ထဲ သူတိုးဝင္လိုက္မိတယ္။ က်ပ္ ၁၂ဝဝကုိ
အေမ့အိတ္ကပ္ထဲ ဂ႐ုတစိုက္ သူျပန္ထည့္လိုက္တယ္။ သူ႔ေက်ာကို ပြတ္သပ္ျပီး
အေမက ျပံဳးေနခဲ့တယ္။
ဝက္ဆိုက္ဒ္တစ္ခုမွ ဖတ္ရတဲ့ စာတစ္ပုဒ္ပါ။ ဒီစာထဲကအတိုင္းပဲ "အဆိုေတာ္
ႏဲြ႔ယဥ္ဝင္း" က သီခ်င္းအျဖစ္နဲ႔ ဆုိခဲ့ဖူးပါတယ္။ သီခ်င္း႐ွိခဲ့ရင္
ပို႔ေပးၾကပါအုန္းလို႔.. ေက်းဇူးးး
ကမာၻေပၚမွာ ရွိရွိသမွ် အေမေတြအားလံုး ေနေကာင္းက်န္းမာဖို႔ ဆုေတာင္းလိုက္ပါတယ္။
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အားရပါးရ ရယ္ရေအာင္
အားရပါးရ ရယ္ရေအာင္
စိတၱဇေဆးရံုမွာ ျဖစ္ပါတယ္.....
၁)
တစ္ေန႔မွာ ရုတ္တရက္ မိုးရြာခ်လာလို႔ စိတၱဇေဝဒနာသည္ေတြအားလံုး အကၤ်ီ၊
ဇလံုေတြ ယူျပီး မိုးေရဆင္းခ်ဳိးၾကတယ္။ ဒါေပမယ့္ လူတစ္ေယာက္က
ေရမဆင္းခ်ဳိးဘဲ ဝရန္တာမွာ ရန္ေနတာေတြ႔လို႔ ဆရာဝန္က "ခင္ဗ်ားဘာျဖစ္လို႔
သူတို႔နဲ႔အတူ ေရမဆင္းခ်ဳိးတာလဲ" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
လူနာျပန္ေျဖလိုက္တာက...
"ကြ်န္ေတာ္ ေရေႏြးတဲ့အထိ ေစာင့္ေနတာပါ" ဟူတည္း။
၂)
ဆရာဝန္က စိတၱဇေဝဒနာသည္ေတြ စိတ္အေျခအေန တိုးတက္မႈ ရွိမရွိ
စမ္းသပ္ခ်က္တစ္ခု ျပဳလုပ္ခဲ့တယ္။ ဆရာဝန္က နံရံတစ္ခုေပၚ
တံခါးေပါက္ပံုဆဲြျပီး လူနာေတြကို "ဒီတံခါးေပါက္ ဖြင့္ႏိုင္တဲ့သူကို
ဒီအခန္းက လြတ္ေပးမယ္" လို႔ ေျပာျပီး စမ္းသပ္လိုက္တယ္။
ဆရာဝန္စကားၾကားတာနဲ႔ ရွိသမွ် လူေတြအားလံုး တံခါးေပါက္ကို ေျပးဖြင့္ၾကတယ္။
ဒါေပမယ့္ လူတစ္ေယာက္က ေနရာမွာတင္ ထိုင္ေနခဲ့လို႔ ဆရာဝန္က
သူ႔စိတ္တိုးတက္မႈရွိျပီ ထင္ျပီး ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
"ခင္ဗ်ား ဘာျဖစ္လို႔ သူတို႔လို တံခါးသြားမဖြင့္တာလဲ"
လူနာက ဆရာဝန္ကို တစ္ခ်က္စိုက္ၾကည့္ျပီး ေျဖလိုက္ပါတယ္။
"အဲဒီတံခါးေသာ့က ကြ်န္ေတာ့္ဆီမွာဗ်..."
၃)
ေဝဒနာသည္တစ္ဦးက ကုတင္ေပၚမွာ ပက္လက္လဲျပီး သီခ်င္းဆိုေနခဲ့တယ္။
သီခ်င္းဆိုရင္းဆိုရင္း ပက္လက္လွန္ဆိုေနရာက ရုတ္တရက္ ေမွာက္ရက္လဲျပီး
ဆက္ဆိုျပန္တယ္။ ဒါကို ဆရာဝန္က ျမင္ေတာ့ "ခင္ဗ်ား ဘာျဖစ္လို႔
ဟိုလွန္ဒီလွန္ လုပ္ေနရတာလဲ" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
သူျပန္ေျဖလိုက္တာက "ခင္ဗ်ား သိပ္တံုးတာပဲ? ေအဆိုက္ကုန္လို႔
ဘီဆိုက္လွန္လိုက္တာေပါ့" ဟူတည္း။
၄)
ဒီတစ္ပုဒ္က "အေၾကာင္းရင္း" လို႔ ေခါင္းစဥ္တပ္ထားျပီး ၂ဝဝ၉ ဧျပီလထုတ္
အမွတ္(၇၈) ျဖစ္ရပ္မွန္ စံုေထာက္မဂၢဇင္းက ဖတ္ရတာေလးပါ။ ကြ်န္မတစ္ေယာက္ထဲ
ရယ္ရတာ အားမရလို႔ အားလံုးဝိုင္ရယ္ႏိုင္ဖို႔ မဂၢဇင္းကတစ္ဆင့္
ကူးယူေဖာ္ျပလိုက္ပါတယ္။
နာမည္ေက်ာ္ တကၠသိုလ္ပါေမာကၡၾကီးတစ္ဦးဟာ သူ႔ရဲ႕ သုေတသနလုပ္ငန္းတစ္ခုအတြက္
တပည့္တစ္ခ်ဳိ႔နဲ႔အတူ ေက်းရြာတစ္ရြာကို ေလ့လာေရးခရီးထြက္ခဲ့သတဲ့။
ရြာရဲ႕စိုက္ပ်ဳိးေရး၊ ေမြးျမဴေရးနဲ႔ လူေနမႈဘဝေတြကို ပါေမာကၡၾကီးဟာ
စနစ္တက် ေလ့လာတယ္။ မွတ္သားတယ္။ ေမးျမန္းတယ္။
တစ္ေန႔မွာေတာ့.....
ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားတစ္ဦးနဲ႔ ေဆြးေႏြးေနစဥ္မွာ ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားက သူေမြးထားတဲ့
ႏို႔စားႏြားမေတြ လႊတ္ေက်ာင္းထားတာကို ၾကည့္ျပီး...
"ဟို စာဥဆိုတဲ့ ေကာင္မ ဘယ္သြားဦးမွာလဲ?"
"တိမ္ျပာဆိုတဲ့ ဟာမကလည္း ဟိုဘက္ျခံစည္းရိုးတိုင္ကို သြားပြတ္ေနျပန္ျပီ"
"ဟဲ့ ျဖဴ ျမက္ေကာင္းေကာင္းမစားဘဲ ဘာျဖစ္လို႔ တျခားေကာင္မေတြကို
လိုက္ေဝွ႔ေနတာလဲ" စသည္ျဖင့္ လွမ္းလွမ္းျပီး ျမည္တြန္ေတာက္တီးေနတယ္။
ပါေမာကၡက လယ္သမားကို အ့ံၾသတၾကီး ၾကည့္ျပီး....
"ခင္ဗ်ားက ခင္ဗ်ားႏြားမေတြအားလံုး နာမည္မွတ္မိတာပဲလား" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
"မွတ္မိတာေပါ့ ဆရာၾကီးရယ္။ သူတို႔နာမည္မွတ္မိမွ သူတို႔ကို ထိန္းရလြယ္တာ"
"ေတာ္တယ္ဗ်ာ၊ က်ဳပ္ကေတာ့ က်ဳပ္တပည့္မေတြ နာမည္ကို မမွတ္မိပါဘူး"
ဒီအခါမွာ ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားရဲ႕ ဇနီးက ဝင္ေျပာတယ္။ သူမရဲ႕ ေျပာစကားေၾကာင့္
ပါေမာကၡၾကီးရဲ႕ ေဘးက ေက်ာင္းသားေတြ ျပံဳးစိစိ ျဖစ္သြားၾကသတဲ့။
မိန္းမၾကီး ေျပာတာက ဒီလိုေလ...
"ဆရာၾကီးက ဘယ္မွတ္မိမလဲ၊ ကြ်န္မေယာက္်ားလို တစ္ေန႔ႏွစ္ၾကိမ္ ႏို႔မွ မညႇစ္ရဘဲ"
ရိုင္းသြားရင္ ခြင့္လြတ္ပါ... :| အားရပါးရ ရယ္ဖုိ႔ ႏိုင္းႏိုင္းစေန
စုစည္းတင္ျပပါသည္။
--
Live Well,
Laugh Often,
Love Much
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စိတၱဇေဆးရံုမွာ ျဖစ္ပါတယ္.....
၁)
တစ္ေန႔မွာ ရုတ္တရက္ မိုးရြာခ်လာလို႔ စိတၱဇေဝဒနာသည္ေတြအားလံုး အကၤ်ီ၊
ဇလံုေတြ ယူျပီး မိုးေရဆင္းခ်ဳိးၾကတယ္။ ဒါေပမယ့္ လူတစ္ေယာက္က
ေရမဆင္းခ်ဳိးဘဲ ဝရန္တာမွာ ရန္ေနတာေတြ႔လို႔ ဆရာဝန္က "ခင္ဗ်ားဘာျဖစ္လို႔
သူတို႔နဲ႔အတူ ေရမဆင္းခ်ဳိးတာလဲ" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
လူနာျပန္ေျဖလိုက္တာက...
"ကြ်န္ေတာ္ ေရေႏြးတဲ့အထိ ေစာင့္ေနတာပါ" ဟူတည္း။
၂)
ဆရာဝန္က စိတၱဇေဝဒနာသည္ေတြ စိတ္အေျခအေန တိုးတက္မႈ ရွိမရွိ
စမ္းသပ္ခ်က္တစ္ခု ျပဳလုပ္ခဲ့တယ္။ ဆရာဝန္က နံရံတစ္ခုေပၚ
တံခါးေပါက္ပံုဆဲြျပီး လူနာေတြကို "ဒီတံခါးေပါက္ ဖြင့္ႏိုင္တဲ့သူကို
ဒီအခန္းက လြတ္ေပးမယ္" လို႔ ေျပာျပီး စမ္းသပ္လိုက္တယ္။
ဆရာဝန္စကားၾကားတာနဲ႔ ရွိသမွ် လူေတြအားလံုး တံခါးေပါက္ကို ေျပးဖြင့္ၾကတယ္။
ဒါေပမယ့္ လူတစ္ေယာက္က ေနရာမွာတင္ ထိုင္ေနခဲ့လို႔ ဆရာဝန္က
သူ႔စိတ္တိုးတက္မႈရွိျပီ ထင္ျပီး ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
"ခင္ဗ်ား ဘာျဖစ္လို႔ သူတို႔လို တံခါးသြားမဖြင့္တာလဲ"
လူနာက ဆရာဝန္ကို တစ္ခ်က္စိုက္ၾကည့္ျပီး ေျဖလိုက္ပါတယ္။
"အဲဒီတံခါးေသာ့က ကြ်န္ေတာ့္ဆီမွာဗ်..."
၃)
ေဝဒနာသည္တစ္ဦးက ကုတင္ေပၚမွာ ပက္လက္လဲျပီး သီခ်င္းဆိုေနခဲ့တယ္။
သီခ်င္းဆိုရင္းဆိုရင္း ပက္လက္လွန္ဆိုေနရာက ရုတ္တရက္ ေမွာက္ရက္လဲျပီး
ဆက္ဆိုျပန္တယ္။ ဒါကို ဆရာဝန္က ျမင္ေတာ့ "ခင္ဗ်ား ဘာျဖစ္လို႔
ဟိုလွန္ဒီလွန္ လုပ္ေနရတာလဲ" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
သူျပန္ေျဖလိုက္တာက "ခင္ဗ်ား သိပ္တံုးတာပဲ? ေအဆိုက္ကုန္လို႔
ဘီဆိုက္လွန္လိုက္တာေပါ့" ဟူတည္း။
၄)
ဒီတစ္ပုဒ္က "အေၾကာင္းရင္း" လို႔ ေခါင္းစဥ္တပ္ထားျပီး ၂ဝဝ၉ ဧျပီလထုတ္
အမွတ္(၇၈) ျဖစ္ရပ္မွန္ စံုေထာက္မဂၢဇင္းက ဖတ္ရတာေလးပါ။ ကြ်န္မတစ္ေယာက္ထဲ
ရယ္ရတာ အားမရလို႔ အားလံုးဝိုင္ရယ္ႏိုင္ဖို႔ မဂၢဇင္းကတစ္ဆင့္
ကူးယူေဖာ္ျပလိုက္ပါတယ္။
နာမည္ေက်ာ္ တကၠသိုလ္ပါေမာကၡၾကီးတစ္ဦးဟာ သူ႔ရဲ႕ သုေတသနလုပ္ငန္းတစ္ခုအတြက္
တပည့္တစ္ခ်ဳိ႔နဲ႔အတူ ေက်းရြာတစ္ရြာကို ေလ့လာေရးခရီးထြက္ခဲ့သတဲ့။
ရြာရဲ႕စိုက္ပ်ဳိးေရး၊ ေမြးျမဴေရးနဲ႔ လူေနမႈဘဝေတြကို ပါေမာကၡၾကီးဟာ
စနစ္တက် ေလ့လာတယ္။ မွတ္သားတယ္။ ေမးျမန္းတယ္။
တစ္ေန႔မွာေတာ့.....
ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားတစ္ဦးနဲ႔ ေဆြးေႏြးေနစဥ္မွာ ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားက သူေမြးထားတဲ့
ႏို႔စားႏြားမေတြ လႊတ္ေက်ာင္းထားတာကို ၾကည့္ျပီး...
"ဟို စာဥဆိုတဲ့ ေကာင္မ ဘယ္သြားဦးမွာလဲ?"
"တိမ္ျပာဆိုတဲ့ ဟာမကလည္း ဟိုဘက္ျခံစည္းရိုးတိုင္ကို သြားပြတ္ေနျပန္ျပီ"
"ဟဲ့ ျဖဴ ျမက္ေကာင္းေကာင္းမစားဘဲ ဘာျဖစ္လို႔ တျခားေကာင္မေတြကို
လိုက္ေဝွ႔ေနတာလဲ" စသည္ျဖင့္ လွမ္းလွမ္းျပီး ျမည္တြန္ေတာက္တီးေနတယ္။
ပါေမာကၡက လယ္သမားကို အ့ံၾသတၾကီး ၾကည့္ျပီး....
"ခင္ဗ်ားက ခင္ဗ်ားႏြားမေတြအားလံုး နာမည္မွတ္မိတာပဲလား" လို႔ ေမးလိုက္တယ္။
"မွတ္မိတာေပါ့ ဆရာၾကီးရယ္။ သူတို႔နာမည္မွတ္မိမွ သူတို႔ကို ထိန္းရလြယ္တာ"
"ေတာ္တယ္ဗ်ာ၊ က်ဳပ္ကေတာ့ က်ဳပ္တပည့္မေတြ နာမည္ကို မမွတ္မိပါဘူး"
ဒီအခါမွာ ေမြးျမဴေရးသမားရဲ႕ ဇနီးက ဝင္ေျပာတယ္။ သူမရဲ႕ ေျပာစကားေၾကာင့္
ပါေမာကၡၾကီးရဲ႕ ေဘးက ေက်ာင္းသားေတြ ျပံဳးစိစိ ျဖစ္သြားၾကသတဲ့။
မိန္းမၾကီး ေျပာတာက ဒီလိုေလ...
"ဆရာၾကီးက ဘယ္မွတ္မိမလဲ၊ ကြ်န္မေယာက္်ားလို တစ္ေန႔ႏွစ္ၾကိမ္ ႏို႔မွ မညႇစ္ရဘဲ"
ရိုင္းသြားရင္ ခြင့္လြတ္ပါ... :| အားရပါးရ ရယ္ဖုိ႔ ႏိုင္းႏိုင္းစေန
စုစည္းတင္ျပပါသည္။
--
Live Well,
Laugh Often,
Love Much
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Smart Kid's Letter to Dad
Smart Kid's Letter to Dad
Kid's are smarter than one may think. This is a very possible scenario given their way nowadays.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it' s not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can
get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report
Card in my desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home..
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************************************************************************************************************
Kid's are smarter than one may think. This is a very possible scenario given their way nowadays.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it' s not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can
get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report
Card in my desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home..
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May 20, 2009
Instructions for US student Visa
1. Become documentarily qualified
. Possess the original I-20 (F & M) or DS-2019 (J)
2. Pay all fees
. Pay the US$200 SEVIS fee at http://www.fmjfee.com and print the receipt
. Visa application fee should be paid at Alliance Bank and keep the receipt
3. Schedule Interview at https:// www.vfs-usa-my.com
4. Complete application forms online
. DS-156
. DS-157 (required only for males aged 16-45)
. DS-158 (required for all students)
5. Collect all supporting documents
. See https://www.vfs-usa-my.com/ApplnForms/students.aspx
6. Obtain photo ( must be on white background, 2" * 2")
. See https://www.vfs-usa-my.com/ApplnForms/photospecifications.aspx
7. Attend interview
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. Possess the original I-20 (F & M) or DS-2019 (J)
2. Pay all fees
. Pay the US$200 SEVIS fee at http://www.fmjfee.com and print the receipt
. Visa application fee should be paid at Alliance Bank and keep the receipt
3. Schedule Interview at https:// www.vfs-usa-my.com
4. Complete application forms online
. DS-156
. DS-157 (required only for males aged 16-45)
. DS-158 (required for all students)
5. Collect all supporting documents
. See https://www.vfs-usa-my.com/ApplnForms/students.aspx
6. Obtain photo ( must be on white background, 2" * 2")
. See https://www.vfs-usa-my.com/ApplnForms/photospecifications.aspx
7. Attend interview
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US F1 Visa interview sample questions
1) Which university awarded your diploma ?
2) What was your major in your undergrad ?
3) Why are you interested in this particular U.S School ?
4) What is so special about the U.S school/University in which you want to attend?
5) How are you going to fund your education in U.S.A?
6) why are you interested in this major ?
7) What is the main motive behind study in U.S.A ?
8) What are your future plans?
9) Do You want to return back?
10)Why don't you apply for good universities in your home country or other countries ? Why Only U.S?
11)Do You have any relatives who study/reside in U.S?
12)How interested are you in pursuing your higher education in U.S?
13)What do you know about the U.S school you are going to join?
14)Why this particular school and this particular major?
15)Are you expecting any funding from the U.S school?
16)Do you have sufficient finances to fund your education?
17)who will fund your education in U.S and why?
18)Why are you joining such a costly university in US?
19)How much loan are you taking for your education in U.S?
20)Will you work in U.S?
21)Will you settle in U.S?
22)Do you have any relatives in U.S?
23)What will you hope you will be doing in 5 years from now?
24)Do you know anybody in the School you are joining?
25)What will you do if you don't get a VISA?
26)What role does the study in U.S play in your and your family's life?
27)Can you afford the cost of the education in U.S?
28)Are your Educational Certificates Fake?
29)How truthful are you in your answers?
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2) What was your major in your undergrad ?
3) Why are you interested in this particular U.S School ?
4) What is so special about the U.S school/University in which you want to attend?
5) How are you going to fund your education in U.S.A?
6) why are you interested in this major ?
7) What is the main motive behind study in U.S.A ?
8) What are your future plans?
9) Do You want to return back?
10)Why don't you apply for good universities in your home country or other countries ? Why Only U.S?
11)Do You have any relatives who study/reside in U.S?
12)How interested are you in pursuing your higher education in U.S?
13)What do you know about the U.S school you are going to join?
14)Why this particular school and this particular major?
15)Are you expecting any funding from the U.S school?
16)Do you have sufficient finances to fund your education?
17)who will fund your education in U.S and why?
18)Why are you joining such a costly university in US?
19)How much loan are you taking for your education in U.S?
20)Will you work in U.S?
21)Will you settle in U.S?
22)Do you have any relatives in U.S?
23)What will you hope you will be doing in 5 years from now?
24)Do you know anybody in the School you are joining?
25)What will you do if you don't get a VISA?
26)What role does the study in U.S play in your and your family's life?
27)Can you afford the cost of the education in U.S?
28)Are your Educational Certificates Fake?
29)How truthful are you in your answers?
Read More/Hide this page
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